Many of you won’t know that I’ve lived with depression on and off for the past 20 years. Life was really good for me up until I started High School and then things became hard. I got bullied, I struggled, and I had no idea where I fitted in. My parents tried their best but weren’t able to provide me with the emotional support I needed at the time.
Later into my teenage years I suffered some further trauma, this time from within my family and this led to some deep childhood scars that would come back to haunt me whenever things got hard in my adult life.
It commenced a narrative in my head that I wasn’t worthy as a human, that I wasn’t loved and that I was a bad person. So when I was 21 I ran away from my problems, towards the big city (Melbourne) in order to find approval, love and worthiness elsewhere, not realising that by that point the wounds were so deep that I’d be unable to leave them behind as well.
12 months ago I looked into using cannabis as a medicine to move me away from these patterns that were negatively affecting me and my family. Lockdowns and other restrictions had brought challenges that were particularly triggering at times and had been making it quite difficult to manage my wellbeing.
I read a book on the subject, watched several documentaries, and even did an online course on Cannabis and felt confident this medicine was safe and worth trialling.
I organised a consult with a GP in Byron Bay who I knew was registered to prescribe cannabis. I got my script, placed an order through a pharmacy and began micro dosing.
Straight away I felt different, more calm, more at ease. I’d never touched cannabis before, or any other recreational drug for that matter so I was quite sensitive to it. It provided an immediate feeling of relief from the emotional pain that had been feeling for so long.
I continued to use it and as the months went by I felt better and better. My Endocannabinoid system was clearly becoming more active.
Taking the cannabis didn’t make my problems or traumas go away, but it helped shift me into a different state of mind and view them from a different perspective and this was very healing. Also, my sleep improved, my eating improved and my overall wellbeing improved and so this helped give me strength whenever tough circumstances presented.
When triggers came up it felt like there was space between the trigger. Instead of being triggered straight away there was separation and I could either avoid being triggered or minimise any harmful thoughts or feelings that the trigger might have previously brought up.
So it’s helped me a lot and I’m going to continue using it long term to help me manage my wellbeing.
Just to be clear, this is a very small dose of cannabis and so there is minimal psychoactive effects. I simply take a few drops of cannabis oil during the day, mostly non-psychotropic CBD oil and then some psycho-active THC and CBN oil before bed to help send me off deeply into the dreaming.
I wanted to be extremely careful in sharing my experience with cannabis because I believe it requires tremendous respect and from my research I have learned there can be a large difference between black market product and the stuff that I use, especially stuff that is hydroponically grown in illegal grow houses. That stuff can be really nasty from what I’ve heard.
The oils I use are 100% organically and legally grown which is something I highly recommend if you are looking into it.
I would never go near the stuff you get on the black market as this can have really bad consequences.
Cannabis in my opinion is easily the most magical healing plant I have ever come across. It also has no negative side effects and is completely non-addictive. I’ve proven this to myself by coming off several times with no withdrawals and no come down. I can easily go 10 days or more without using the oils and still feel really excellent.
So compared to pharmaceutical medications and anti-depressants which do have severe negative side effects, cannabis is a clear winner and an obvious choice for me to manage my mental health going forward.
I hope that by sharing this it helps anyone out there who might be suffering by giving them another option to think about. After using this medicine for 12 months I know that it has the potential to help an enormous amount of people in a truly positive, safe and effective way.
If you have any questions please feel free to send me a message or give me a call.